so much for that plan

I’m being eaten alive by my children.

laugh.

go ahead.

all of you.

all you wiser parents of older kids.

all you who rolled your eyes when I was all pinterested out in the Spring.

go ahead.laugh.

Every plan this summer has been a flop.

The binders have become an emblem of torture for the kids.

The Reading Challenge…HA!

The weather has been horrendously hot, humid and stormy.

My house is trashed daily.

Car trips are filled with fighting and flying toys.

And they’re fighting. so much fighting.

We’ve had nasty colds, viruses, allergic reactions to medicines, teething, pink eye….to name a few.

I keep questioning whether we should have just skipped a few mortgage payments and just put everyone in all day camps.

This summer is definitely giving my ‘free range’ ‘let the damn kids play’ theories a run for it’s money.

The worst part.

It’s all me.

I’m the one who is angry about another kid getting sick, the oppressive humidity, the house being trashed, the over scheduled summer, my 4 and 6 yeard olds lack of interest in my perfectly organized age-appropriate binders and worksheets. (Really Anna, REALLY?!)

I’m the one who can’t find the patience.

I’m the one who has convinced herself that she’s socially awkward and has self-diagnosed herself with every mental health issue within googles reach.

I’m exhausted.

Like really really walking zombie exhausted.

and I’m being the parent that I hate.

I can feel the stress radiating through every aspect of my life.

….sigh…..

Fear not friends, I’ll be OK. It’s only July 20th. I have lots of summer to turn it all around.

My favorite adventures with the kiddies are on the horizon.

My future holds cooler weather, lots of trees, lakes, rivers, and endless boundaries to roam.

I will be zen.

My kids will be healthy.

and my age-appropriate worksheets will make great campfire kindling.

Nama-motherlovin-ste.

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Mommy Dating

I’ve dated a LOT of Moms.

It’s true.

I’ve picked up Moms in parks, on the subway, in doctors offices, at the gym, in locker rooms, at preschools, elementary schools, even online.

We make eye contact, assess, exchange cute banter about current situation, talk about the kids….feel out the chemistry.

We exchange info, someone promises to reach out….maybe we’ll run into each other again.

Sound familiar?

(It should.)

You hangout. Things progress. You have fun. The kids aren’t as obnoxious as others you’ve seen, so that’s a plus. …. Or maybe they are, but you like her enough to let it go. It’s good to be open and accepting , right?

You hangout, you text, you laugh, and you don’t stress about the state of your house when you’re together.

Things might happen fast. You share spirits away from the home base. You call it a “Mom’s Night Out” to keep it simple, you remind yourself It’s just an excuse to get out of the house- no pressure.

You end the night with laughs and promise to do it again soon. You hope it’s not awkward the next morning at playgroup.

Congratulations, you’ve made a new Mommyfriend.

When you’re away, with regular friends, with coworkers, with family, you describe what you did over the weekend, how you had such a blast with your MommyFrrr…..

wait.

That sounds unfair, untrue, and so so annoying.

She/they are more than that! You’ve been through the ringer, they’ve seen you in good times, but more often in bad, they’ve held your hands, poured you a drink, listened to the crap (and there’s a bunch of it!)

It just can’t be. They’re more. You’re become more, together.

Since the beginning of time… Or at least, since I’ve became a “Mom”  I have grouped new friends, made post baby, without relation to my life before baby as a “Mommyfriend”

But that was then. In the beginning, when I was new to the game. The term worked. It helped lighten the reality of what I was really doing (dating for friends in same phase of life/realm of existence).

So here I am 6 years deep, with almost all of the many life complexities worked out (psych!)  thanks to the help of my new and not so new Mommyfriends.  The camaraderie is evolving and deepening.

You get to a point when you need to ask.

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Are you?!

Gulp.

Can we 

Be friends?