Stay At Home Mom Gone AWOL

Friends,

I have a secret.

Y’all are smart people, so I’m guessing that you’ve figured out, that I have yet to figure out, how to be a grown up. On that note.

I’ve started working.

I’m like sort of in the closet about the fact that I’ve gone “back to work”

I’ve started this itty-bitty-tiny-little vintage store. I sell on instagram and etsy.

I mean, I’m like hoarding things in my son’s closet and having naptime photo shoots in the basement. I say to friends, “oh, silly me, just a hobby…” ha.ha.nervous laughter.ha.

I’m trying. I’m giving it a go.

I know, you’re looking at me, shaking your heads saying,

“The mommy-blogging, the carpenter/builder dreams…and now vintage?! When is Anna going to get it together and be a grown up.”

I know that’s what you’re thinking. Don’t deny it!

Gimme a sec to explain.

The other night, I was at a party when a friend introduced me by saying, “This is Anna. She is so great on Instagram.”

–internal awkward silence–

–this is not the first time I’ve been introduced this way–

–more internal awkward silence–

Yea, so I like me some social media. I think I have a pretty good eye. I can be kind funny (or just painfully honest) I like to think Social Media creates community, blah blah blah…But, I’d like to think I am a lot more than a fun fling on instgram. (mind out of the gutter)

In case you haven’t caught on. Our society is still not loving “Stay at home Moms” which is funny considering  about HALF, yes 1/2, 50% of women decide/become “SAHM’s” after having children.  Obviously, there are various reasons why this happens. Choice, circumstance, lifestyle, whatever it is. For the number of women doin’ it in 2015, you’d think there’d be a little more respect. Living in a prestigious urban/suburban area only makes it harder, I think, maybe not, but I digress.

So, here’s the thing. I may be one of the craziest b’s you know, BUT, I am dead set on being one of the happiest.

And you know what you mother loving head shakers…I think I’m doing OK. In fact. All these irrational, pretty damn irresponsible, and often stupid choices I’ve made in my life have led me here.

And I’m good. I am so flippin blessed. Truly, preach it to the heavens, the goddess, the pagan tree huggers, I am in no way denying that I have a great life.

But, I feel the societal pressures…still.  I think 2/3 of my writing on here is about ‘the struggle’. The struggle. not with the kids (well, not always with the kids) but with me, and my place, how I feel, and how I want to be viewed in this life.

I put on a fundraiser for my son’s preschool a few weeks ago. My darling Baby-Daddy told me, that he liked the kids seeing me work on something like that. I get what he was saying,and he’s right, but… it’s not. How do I want to be viewed in this life. whether it’s right or wrong, fair or unfair. I need more, I want to be seen as more.

So how /can I do something that will make me feel good.

Do what you love. The rest will follow.

Isn’t that a saying?

Do what you love —- and figure out how to make a living doing it. Or at least, how to make a little chump change to buy an extra margarita(s) at your favorite taco bar.

I am trying to create a life where I can be a stay at home Mom and a Working Mom.

I love expressing myself, story telling, laughing at life’s absurd moments;  building things by intuition and then often rebuilding by the book, demolishing, creating, enhancing. I love searching for beautiful, interesting, and colorful things. I love being exposed to different people and the life they have lived, I love giving old abandoned things new life.

And in the end, if I can buy a few more margaritas, send my kids to a summer camp,  and be viewed as more than just a really good instagram’er, while doing things that make me happy…that sounds pretty great.

Thanks gals and guys, for listening/reading, mucho appreciated.

Below are the Etsy Link and Instagram Link.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/BlueHouseBizarre

https://instagram.com/bluehousebizarre/

XO,

Anna

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