I’ve dated a LOT of Moms.
I’ve picked up Moms in parks, on the subway, in doctors offices, at the gym, in locker rooms, at preschools, elementary schools, even online.
We make eye contact, assess, exchange cute banter about current situation, talk about the kids….feel out the chemistry.
We exchange info, someone promises to reach out….maybe we’ll run into each other again.
You hangout. Things progress. You have fun. The kids aren’t as obnoxious as others you’ve seen, so that’s a plus. …. Or maybe they are, but you like her enough to let it go. It’s good to be open and accepting , right?
You hangout, you text, you laugh, and you don’t stress about the state of your house when you’re together.
Things might happen fast. You share spirits away from the home base. You call it a “Mom’s Night Out” to keep it simple, you remind yourself It’s just an excuse to get out of the house- no pressure.
You end the night with laughs and promise to do it again soon. You hope it’s not awkward the next morning at playgroup.
Congratulations, you’ve made a new Mommyfriend.
When you’re away, with regular friends, with coworkers, with family, you describe what you did over the weekend, how you had such a blast with your MommyFrrr…..
That sounds unfair, untrue, and so so annoying.
She/they are more than that! You’ve been through the ringer, they’ve seen you in good times, but more often in bad, they’ve held your hands, poured you a drink, listened to the crap (and there’s a bunch of it!)
It just can’t be. They’re more. You’re become more, together.
Since the beginning of time… Or at least, since I’ve became a “Mom” I have grouped new friends, made post baby, without relation to my life before baby as a “Mommyfriend”
But that was then. In the beginning, when I was new to the game. The term worked. It helped lighten the reality of what I was really doing (dating for friends in same phase of life/realm of existence).
So here I am 6 years deep, with almost all of the many life complexities worked out (psych!) thanks to the help of my new and not so new Mommyfriends. The camaraderie is evolving and deepening.
You get to a point when you need to ask.